On my Ma, our Ma on her 100 years birth anniversary

My mother, our mother, Kamala Sen, loves us, cared for us, brought us up and we remember her as we grew up from childhood, through adulthood and now our old age. This posts are an attempt to remember her in our life.

1) Post from Dr. Anjan Kumar Sen, M.D. - eldest son.

The first thing that I need to say about mother is that I had very little contact with her as a child. I wanted to spend a lot more time with my parents like most children that I knew. Unfortunately my parents felt that education was important and they wanted me to receive the best education possible. The place where we lived had no good school. They therefore chose to send me to a boarding school quite far away. I was only eight probably going to be nine when I went to this special school in Shantiniketan. In some ways it was an adventure for me but I did not like being away from home. At the end of that year I developed measles and had to spend a few days in an isolation ward. I generally felt well enough and chose to write a letter to my father asking him to come and pick me up and take me home. Just before closing the envelope I added a new line to the letter stating that if he did not pick me up by a certain date I was going to cry so hard that the roof of the building was going to explode. On that particular day I watched my father coming and was overjoyed. He picked me up and I came home. About two days later the letter arrived. I have never seen my mother laugh that loud and for that long ever again.

'Dada'

During my childhood I learned arithmetic from my mother. She taught us arithmetic as well as English and Bengali. Later in my life I recognized that my proficiency in mathematics was related to my mother’s teaching. I also remember that my mother wanted to make sure that we did not drink any water during our lunch or dinner and to this day I’m not able to drink water during meals. She also emphasized that we should finish everything on our plate and again to this day I always clean my plate at meal times. I also remember that when we were sick my mother would sit with us for long periods of time. I particularly remember when I had pain in my tummy, she would mold a little cup out of clay and put a candle in it then she would place it on our abdomen and cover it with a glass. This helped to relieve our ‘tummy pain’ and it was such a nice experience. 

Those days I spent a lot of time with my brother and sister then a new brother and sister were born and I was gone. From there onwards I spent most of my time in hostels or dorms until I graduated from medical school and then of course I left the area and came abroad. While away in hostels or dorms I would come home for short periods of time. My mother would cook my favorite foods. She would make several courses out of the ‘Hilsa” fish. I still remember how much I enjoyed those meals. The other story that I remember involved my youngest brother. Soon after he was born I happened to be home waiting to start my college. I tried to help my mother by taking care of my brother. One time he was crying and I could not get him to quiet down until an idea came to my head. I put on one of my mother’s saris and held him in my lap and he calmed down I tried it a few other times it worked each time Since I came abroad I had not had any chance to spend time with her but always remember her because I always felt that she loved me a great deal. When she became sick I decided to come home. Unfortunately it was too late and by the time I got there with my little sister she had passed away.

2) Late Dr. Soumitra Kumar Sen (second son) 

'Chhorda'

3) Dr. Aparna Dasgupta (eldest daughter)

Amar Ma:   When I think of my mother, in my heart I feel a glow of energy and see her in my mind with radiance of that glow surrounding her body. I feel so content to respect her. Being concerned with women’s empowerment for the last three to four decades, I have worked and researched on this special issue myself. When I think of my mother, I see her as all my strength and energy throughout my life. 
My mother was born in British India in January 1914 – a century ago – in the village : in Khulna district (then in India, now in Bangladesh).  In those days the status of women in our country was very poor and there was no opportunities available to women. 
My mother was the youngest daughter in her family. Her father Shri Atul Chandra DasGupta was a landlord of that area. Her mother Sjta Sarojbala Devi, daughter of a big landlord from Jashore district got married at the age of eight. She used to roam about in the in-laws house in the lap of old servants who had accompanied her when she came there. She was doing her duty affectionately. 
My mother’s father had to rear his brother’s family of five, as he is brother had passed away. He had one son and three daughters. In those days there was no school nearby, and people had to travel far to get education.  There was a very wide rive Bhairavi, which had to be crossed to get to Senhati after reaching Khulna railway station which was also the district town. I had the experience of visiting my mother’s house only when I was only eight. I remember the village as a ‘abode of peace’.  There were so many orchards of coconut, jackfruit, mango and so on. There were many ponds that were allotted as bathing pond, drinking and utensil washing ponds. There were no proper sanitation arrangements, but only make-shift types with bamboo and logs. 
The Senhati village was famous for its scholars and great Bengali poets. Teachers came to teach children of richer people. For higher studies one had to got to big towns and cities. 

Being the youngest in the family, my mother got relatively more freedom than other girls, as she grew up. She revolted against the norms being followed for a girl child and was independent. She used to play with boys of her peer group, climb tree – something not girls supposed to do. She would go out wearing only ‘semiz’ – instead of wrapping a sari over it – again something that girls were not supposed to do. 

She was interested in higher studies. She studied at home along with her brothers.  But, after she finished her primary class, she was not allowed to go out to far towns for higher education. But, at that time the famous social activist Lady late Sarojnalini Devi, wife of late Gurusaday Datta, ICS (Imperial Civil Service) of Ara district, and founder of the Bratachari movement in Bengal (some parts of Bihar and Orissa was included in those days).  She started her revolutionary movement of setting up schools for both boys and girls. She also created young men and women’s volunteer group in different villages. These volunteers performed many community works such as cleaning ponds removing hyacinth for fish cultivation. Different women’s organizations were formed so that engage in improving and marketing traditional arts and products. 

My mother, then fourteen years old, joined in the volunteer activities. She finished her primary education – she was very bright student, particularly very good in Mathematics, but not so good in English. 
Her only brother, Suhash, who was twenty one years old was studying in the prestigious Presidency College in Kolkata. He used to stay in Hindu hostel. When he went home, he told his father about his roommate, who he thought would be a perfect match for his youngest sister Biju (Bijoli was her full name). This roommate was very intelligent, bright and handsome. His name is Pabitra who stood first in his class and got a gold medal. Pabitra got scholarship for doing Ph.D. in London for two years. He thought of collecting the money from his friends or to get it from a marriage negotiation, which was very common in those days. Pabitra told him that he wanted the passage money to go to London by ship. In those days flying by plane was not possible. 
His father, my grandfather, did not agree and refused his son’s wish. But, within one year when Suhash came home for summer, unfortunately got infected in black small pox things changed. Suhash came home sick with high fever. My mother was loved her brother and always beside her brother nursing him. However, her mother was busy in worshipping to Goddess of Sitala – the goddess of all kinds of poxes in the Hindu religion. My mother’s father tried engaged all sorts of doctors and traditional doctors (vaidyas). On the seventh day Suhash passed away. 

Her father and family got so devastated and shocked by their only son’s demise that they came up to Kolkata and met with his friends and professors to find out about Pabitra, roommate of their son so that they can fulfill his last wish.  He arranged to pay the balance of money so that Pabitra was able to continue his advanced studies in London. He arranged marriage of his youngest daughter within fifteen days. 

Here, I want to talk about my father a bit. He was the youngest son, out of the ten brothers and sisters of advocate Nilkanta Sen, who passed away at the age of eightly, when my father was only six years old. He was a very kind person, who gave his belongings to the needy, but had a lot of outstanding loan when he passed away. My fathers two elder brother paid off the loans. When my father passed the school from Iswar Pathsala at Commilla town in today’s Bangladesh with brilliant result his guardians asked him to earn money instead of going for further education. However, his mother encouraged him to go forward and fulfill his aspiration for higher education and gave him rupees ten from her savings. My father arrived in Kolkata with hopes for higher education with rupees two as he spent the rest of the money to buy his tickets for train and steamer.  He faced great challenge but was determined to fulfill his aspirations. He got attention from his friends and scholarly persons, such as the well known poetess, Sjta. Priyamboda Devi. 

My grandfather decided to fulfill Suhash’s last wish by arranging marriage of his youngest daughter, our mother, with Pabitra. According to the customs in those days my mother was given a new name of Kamala Sen. Within a few days after the last rites for his son he came to Kolkata to arrange for Pabitra and Bijoli’s marriage and looked for an auspicious date. My father left for his much longed destination to London in a few days. My mother stayed back at her home for two years that my father was away. 

When my mother passed class five from the school founded by Sarojnalini Devi. She was sixteen. She learned music from her friend’s eldest sister, Juthika Sen, who was a well-known artist in those days.  A few years later, she also appeared for the school final examination, which was known as the matric examination in those days, but could not pass in the English subject, she had difficulty with English. After my father returned from England after completing his Ph.D. degree from the Imperial College, he coached my mother and she appeared in the school final examination again. She passed the examination with very good marks in all subject this time. My mother was also good in playing badminton and used to play with my father and his friends at the college campus where my father took up the job of Lecturer in Botany.  

My elder cousin came to stay with us in Sabour, where my father used to work. She came from our native village in Comilla, Bangladesh to get help in preparing for the Intermediate college degree in Arts from the University of Calcutta. This gave my mother an idea. Later, when her fourth child was one years’ old, my mother started preparing and then passed the college level degree examination for Intermediate Arts. Later, when I was doing my Bachelor of Arts degree from Lady Brabourne College in Kolkata in 1958, although my father gave all encouragements, she could not spare the time to take the course. She commented to my father that she has had a lot of practical experience and probably do not need more degree at that age. 

By that time we had two more brothers and sisters were born to us. Also, significant political changes took place in the country. The state of Bengal was partitioned and India got her freedom from foreign rule. My parents were very stressed to help resettle their relatives from the newly created state of East Pakistan (now Bangladesh) who had to migrate to West Bengal in India. 
By this time my father left his job serving the British Indian government and took up the job as Professor of Agriculture in Calcutta University to serve the country. He came to settle down in West Bengal. He had to revive agriculture as a subject of study in Calcutta University, which was not pursued there for many years. In this work my father became very busy and engrossed in his work and passing the day to day responsibility of family affairs to my mother. My mother did her part very well and looked after us as well as other displaced family members. All my brothers and sisters got the support necessary to get settled in life. It was not just our family but they helped many needy persons of different classes around them. It is not only that they helped them financially, but provided sincere guidance and emotional selfless support. 

We grew up in a simple way – based on simple living and high thinking. You're your neighbor, as you love yourself. My mother had cherished values and discipline and fought his life peacefully. She was not only a companion of my father but spiritually supported him and held him high. My father, along with his professional activities started a voluntary organization called ‘Seva-Bharati’ or service for humanity and started work in the district of Midnapur in West Bengal. His dream was to help the rural poor in providing equal opportunities in life’s pursuits. He also wanted to provide opportunities to the young displaced relatives and others. 
My father was inspired by the philosophy of the great poet, Rabindranath Tagore and Mahatma Gandhi  and his own mother. He received a donation of 40 acres of waste land from the Maharaja of Chilkigarh, Bihar. He himself also bought 40 acres of land and started his vision to establish ‘Seva-Bharati’ for rural reconstruction at the eve of India’s national independence.  He had his relatives who were refugees from the then East Pakistan, result of the partition of India to join in these activities. He along with his mother and widowed sister lived at the village of Kapgari where Seva-Bharati was established. 
He started a new college of agriculture in West Bengal in the nearby town of Jhargram where new courses were started with agriculture students in the bachelor degree in Agriculture. He started master lee degree in Agriculture in Calcutta University. With his constant and laborious effort and my mother’s constant vigilance and support he became famous nationally and internationally. 
Now I want to give more emphasis on my mother in my meory pages today as I see her as an epitome of strength and spirit to make life more peasceful and healthy – insttea an aggressive self interested entity. Both of them raised a family of six children with utmost care and support. My mother took the leadership to save money and built a four storied house in Kolkata, and a two story house in Santiniketan. 

When my father visited U.K. for the second time for post-doctoral studies, my mother accompanied him with their one and half year old eldest son. They lived in the city of Kent in U.K. Their second son Soumitra was born there. They visited many European states in that time. My mother was not fluent in English. One day, their eldest son, Anjan who was very active and restless, accidentally swallowed a key of the room lock. When my mother saw this she ran to the nearest public phone and called my father. She was translating from her native language Bengali to English but was not very successful. My father asked her to speak in Bengali instead. Then of course things were fine when my father got a doctor to look after this. At my old age now I am reminiscing my sweet memories and I think I should tell a few of them. I was in standard two and studying in Mokhala school in Bhagalpur. We had to travel from Sabour, where my father was working, to Bhagalpur.  I found my mother use both stick and love in dealing with our mischiefs. 
My mother demonstrated the value of simple living and high thinking. She believed in hard work. She narrated several proverbs to emphasis values in us. Some of these are – “follow what you preach”. She was very competent in performing her chores and thereby relieved my father from such activities. In this way she helped my father to dedicate more in his work without spending too much time in such activities. She encouraged my father to do his social work activities. She always stayed with him as a shadow and looked after him. 

They would discuss all things as friends. My mother always pointed out the practical side of things when they argued, never aggressively. She had definitely some leadership quality, very uncommon in ladies of her time. My father suggested her to do her B.A. when I was doing mine. To this she refused and said that she must have done more than B.A. in getting a degree than getting an experience running her practical life rearing six children and family responsibilities all through the years. 
My childhood, my school and college passed with her guidance, she used to utter proverbs such as “a stitch in time saves nine” or “time flows by like a river, he who does not understand, shame on him”. Again she who cooks also combs her hair or if you are a good person, you can all accommodate nine people in a small leaf. She was like those proverbs herself preserving all wisdoms in her life. She was an example of the proverb- “follow what you preach”. She also said that a simple living and high thinking is the basis of happy and healthy life. 

She wanted us to have proper education, and develop proper understanding and respect other peoples view. My eldest brother is a F.R.C.S doctor from U.K. My second brother is a professor and national scientist. The third is an electrical engineer from the esteemed Indian Institute of Technology (IIT) and the fourth one is a professor of Electronics. I am a social activist and my only sister is an educationist. We learnt different types of musical instruments and music. She, along with my father’s loving company made their six children an opportunity to grow with her strict and loving leadership. Both my parents respected each other. 
Although my mother was a housewife all through her life, she added so much strength to lead life together with my father. He was a well-known national scientist on Agriculture. He was a well-known educationist and a Emeritus Professor of Calcutta University as well as a philosopher. He is the founder of “Seva-Bharati” and the man behind the revival of agriculture as an academic discipline in India. He was honored with the award of the D. Lit. degree by the U.K. He received the “Rathin-award” from Vishwa-Bharati University and national award on Agriculture from the Indian Agricultural Research Institute (IARI). He was very close to the great Bengali poet, Rabindranath Tagore as a young man. He had very significant contribution in soil conservation, and rural development in Santiniketan, Vishwa Bharati all through his life. Seva-Bharati has been influenced by the ideas of Tagore and Gandhi as well as his own mother. 

I discussed my father above to put in context my mother’s role in building her family and our life, and many others in our society as a woman who valued to stand up and accomplish her duties so well. She served my father’s activities silently and with perseverance.  She, led a life of simplicity and high thinking and tried to help my father day and night like a shadow as well as guiding him in practical decision making. She could visualize my father’s dream as her own. Even when she was busy with household chores, she provided support in my father’s work, gave him suggestions and advises and helped him be successful in his endeavors. She showed the whole world that “united you grow, divided you fall”. 
My mother and father was very happy and true companion. When my mother passed away in 1984 within a short illness at the age of seventy my father was seventy-eight and he was so much shocked, as if the strength of life is gone. He lost all his spirit of liveliness and became dumb. 

In her last phase of life I was in Kolkata to attend my brother-in-laws last right who passed away suddenly. I was very gloomy when my mother consoled me saying “don’t be so upset, otherwise, what would you do when I die?”. I got a shock of love so deep, which I could never imagine. Though we are six brothers and sisters and so many people she cared for, but still she did hold me so close in her arms. I had stayed away from Kolkata after my marriage due to my husband’s business locations. I was in Hyderabad, Bombay and New Delhi, but could not get many opportunities to be close to my parents. I too used to miss them very much and thought to spend more time with them. But God did not permit my wish and my mother passed away when I was too busy as my son was in the graduating year in twelfth grade in high school.  She paved my way to participate to work with my husband in social work. It is in this context I should also say that my second brother, who is very sick, thinks about my mother the first thing in the morning and talks about her and shows respect to her. 

My mother had a style of using well known proverbs and examples of eminent peoples life in facing difficulties in life. She gave very good advice how to save. I wonder in my own life how I have subscribed to her wisdom as if she became my mentor. Silently, throughout my own family life I followed her. I managed to study while raising my family and doing regular household chores. I completed my Masters degree after my marriage and also completed my Ph.D. after fourteen years of my marriage. I carried out postdoctoral studies and build myself as a sociologist. My dear husband, late professor Shubhachari Dasgupta, youngest son of Professor Surendra Nath Dasgupta, the well-known Sanskrit scholar and philosopher, had been very helpful and guided me even though he had been very busy with his work. He did not want me to take up a job but wanted me to enrich myself. When both my two children left for studies and lived elsewhere in hostels, I joined my husband and worked with him. I also looked after him as he became a heart patient. 

My husband founded a voluntary organization. He left his prestigious job of a faculty at the National Institute of Bank Management in the city of Bombay to start this organization. He tried to find out potential aspiring people, boys and girls, from any caste or creed, and open the door of education to them for higher studies. I started voluntary work with him and worked in helping young people to get education and opportunities that the government programs sought out. Together, we created a peaceful environment in our life. I feel this is to a great extent due to my mother and father’s, teaching I received in my life. Today, at the age of seventy five, when I look back at my garden of blossomed flower-like memories I find my mother to be an example of an empowered woman by her own enterprises for which I longed for our existence as a woman. 

4) Prabir Kumar Sen (third son) 

'Buro'

5) Sunanda Sen (younest daughter) 

'Tuku"

6) From Ranjan Kumar Sen, youngest son

My first recollection of my mother is her sitting in front of a mud hearth, using a bamboo pipe to blow air, to get the fire to start. I have a close sister, Tuyu (her real name is Tuku but I could not say ‘k’ – instead said ‘y’. She and I would play with toy kitchen utensil had the upper part of a mud-‘Kalshi’ – or pot to work as a ‘yunon’ or stove. We had some toy pots and containers and used leafs, and other odd stuffs for make believe food.

'Bhaiya

My recollection is that my eldest brother was visiting from his college in Kolkata (we used to live in Jhargram and I was around 3 or 4 years old) to visit and he would help wash my mouth after dinner.  I used to notice his large palm, which he used as a pout, filled with water that is passed into my mouth. I am supposed to use it to rinse my mouth and throw out. I used to wonder how come my big brother has such a large palm. When would I have such a large palm?

My second brother was my affectionate friend. He would put me on the front rod of his bicycle and take me on a ride. Sometimes this rides took me to my aunt’s place where I used to get a lot of attention from my cousins and ate nice sweets – ‘narus’. I remember the bicycle ride. I used to stare at the front wheel and the road under it passing by. I was thin and I needed a pillow to be put on the front rod before I would sit on it so that it does not hurt.

I remember my third eldest brother as someone somewhat closer to my age. During the Kali-puja and the light festival (Diwali) I would follow him with his hand made stick cracker and go around the area lighting crackers.

I remember my child to boyhood days by the different houses we lived in – first briefly in Lake gardens, then at 8A Ekdalia place, followed by 6 Ekdalia place and at Palm Avenue. The last one is our own house, not a rented one.

We moved to Kolkata when I was four years old. I remember we lived in a house that was not so wide but deep, had large bathroom and a room in the front. Opposite to our house lived the not-yet so famous artist – Gopal Ghosh. But I do not remember him. His daughter, Maley was our close friend. She was the only child and had a lot of toys, which we did not have. Tuyu and I would spend a lot of time in their house, playing.

We then moved to a house in Ekdalia place nearer to Gariahat junction. Now I remember my father, who would take our photographs with a two-lens Rolliflex camera. This camera had a interesting shutter – a small pipe with a piston at the end. I would pose with Tuyu, or sitting on my second brother, bent over posing as a horse and I would sit on him.

My eldest sister would comb my hair after a bath. She would part my hair in the middle – I did not quite like it. She would take me to her friend’s house – Manjudi, Sushamadi. Everybody liked me and I enjoyed all the attention.

Tuyu went to Banaful school, and when she was in the 4^th grade, I joined the same school in the second grade. She used to always keep an eye on me. We had school sports event. I ran a sprint in which we were supposed to grab a sweet (jilabi) hanging from a string while our hands were tied in the back and run. I, along with many, could not get the jilabi in my mouth and performed not so well. Tuyu had also took part in something, which I don't remember, but was very angry and cried a lot that she did not get a prize. My parents had to get her a prize – a small dressing table for dolls.

We (Tuyu and me) would go to play at Dolly’s house. We would have old bus tickets and play bus-bus. We will pretend that the stair well in their house to be a bus. There were the elder people but I was shy and would not dare interfere. Tuyu used to talk with the old ladies a lot and they liked her. I would join in as the little brother – Bhaiya.

I had a close friend – Ratan.  There was another friend, Saros, who was the brother of my second brother’s friend Homi. Homi had fallen very ill and passed away at an early age. Their father was the famous musician – V. Balsara who was a Parsi, settled in Kolkata.

Ratan was my very close friend and we went to the same school – Jagadbandhu Institution. We both liked to sketch, paint, craft and model. We would sit together and not talking but would be painting pictures one after another and also often making things by hand. I used to spend a lot of time in his house, one block away. His father had mental illness and was at the lunatic asylum. His mother was very nice, and would let us play together for long times.  Ratan had a lot of toys, including mechanical ones and I was very fascinated.  My toys were much less sophisticated.

At that time my most favorite toy was a railway engine made out of wood. This was a common toy that you could buy at Kalighat. My aunt (mother’s eldest sister) had given that to me. I would play with the wooden engine all the time. I was fascinated by steam engine and seriously thought that I would be an engine pilot when I grow up. I was surprised when people laughed at the idea.  Our manservant in our house was very fond of me. He thought that I have soiled by wooden engine too much and got me a brand new one.

Tuyu and I would play with dolls – some improvised from even used tooth paste tubes. I though I had learned tailoring to make clothes such as pants and jackets for Tuyu’s male doll – Bablu. Tuyu had a girl doll, named Tabu. I did not initially have a doll, except a completely pressed out toothpaste tube, which resembled some kind of doll, and was named ‘buro’. But my elder sister got me a girl doll so that we can have a doll welding – my doll as the bride to Bablu. Unfortunately, on the eve of the wedding, when everything is ready, all the food and arrangements are in place, someone had accidentally sat on my doll that was sitting on our couch and crushed her. We had to repair the damage quickly, in which my eldest sister was very involved, so that the wedding could continue.

I was a quiet but mischievous boy. One afternoon I thought of preparing some fried bread (luchi). I found some good material to use. I had tore and shredded the thick paper material, that I spotted on the window ceiling, into small fragments that was our pretend luchis. Unfortunately, sometime later it was found that that material was our ‘ration’ card that was necessary to get our weekly quota of rice, flour and other materials. Again, I was not sure why everybody was so alarmed at my act.

Around this time I became aware of my mother – ma. She was in the background and I had all my brothers and cousins giving me most of the attention. But I used to see her when I had occasional running temperature or cold and cough. I will have all her attention, which was very pleasant, and sometimes I wished I would be sick longer or more often. I liked the food – bread, milk and sugar. I would dip the bread in the milk and swab some sugar in before putting it into my mouth.

My eldest brother would visit us from his medical college hostel. He is tall and would put me on his shoulder. He would bend down when going through the door from one room to another. I enjoyed the ride, being able to almost fly in my mind.  He was a graduating doctor and the medicine companies would send samples to our home. I would take some samples, hoping to be stronger by taking them. I used to be skinny and everybody would say why am I not fat.

My second brother would visit us from his college hostel and bring candies and cookies for Tuyu and me. In another episode of my quiet mischievousness I attempted to help drive the greedy ants on Tuyu’s cookie box by putting it in the water in our bathroom tank. I was hoping to be rewarded by Tuyu, who was my mentor in those days, but instead when she opened the box there she found a mash of cookies. I wondered why my honest attempt to fight the ants and save the cookies have gone off to this end result. My mother solved the problem by drying the mash in the oven and cutting cookies again from that. Now, I reflect and think that this is an example that shows that nothing is ever lost, if you know how to craft to renew it! In my sub consciousness that was dug in that day, I believe.

I had great faith on particularly my mother. I was fond of my English book because it had many pictures of boys of my age. One book was printed in England and the boy in the picture wore high socks. I wanted socks like that and I told that to my mother. She told me that they are knee-socks or knee-‘moja’ (in Bengali moja is socks). I thought it is Neel-moja or Blue-socks (Neel is Blue in Bengali). I faithfully believed that for a long time.

A few times our only uncle and family came to visit us. That was the fun filled few days. My cousins were very friendly and of our age. My brothers, sisters, the cousins, our neighborhood friends would all play together. We used to play – dark room. That was the most fun.

Once my parents were going out and I took the opportunity to request them to get me a toy – bring me ‘kichhu-michhu’ (something). They laughed and left. But they brought me a toy spring loaded canon on a wheel made of tin. I was very happy and overjoyed.

There were a number of garage like units in front of our house facing the road. These were different shops including one that was a goldsmith’s shop. It was fascinating for me to watch the workers making patterns on gold ornaments using casts and small hammers, hitting them gently on gold bangles that were put in a round stand of some kind. I used to chat with the people there. They would ask me about my father, sisters and brothers and were very impressed that my brothers were all so educated. They asked me what would I like to be when I grow up.

We were at 8A Ekdalia place. But we soon moved to the house next to us at 6 Ekdalia place.  The landlady of this place was my mother’s friend who proposed to her that she would rent the ground floor to her if she wants.  Since she liked my mother very much, she asked for a relatively low rent of 250 rupees a month.

I had a friend across the street. His name was Tambi and his sister Mohana also played with us. Tambi and I used to play cricket on the front porch of the house. My brother, Prabir, often joined.

One day my father gave me a piece of paper and asked me to go out to the road and give it to a gentlemen with glasses and smoking a pipe. I met this person who later I found was to marry my eldest sister. On my sister’s wedding we had a lot of fun. My cousins were all there and we used to play cricket together in the backyard garden. 

The youngest son of the landlady, we called him Babluda, started a club for young kids, named Abasar (meaning rest-time). The club was very popular and many local kids joined it. We had soccer and carom tournaments. We also staged a play – the famous Hajabarala of Sukumar Ray. I played the role of ‘Nyara’ – the crazy singer. Tambi, who could not speak too much Bengali was ‘Pyacha’  - the judge, who was mostly quiet in the play.

One of the most exciting occasion was ‘Kalipuja’ when kids would light firecrackers. However, for us, Tuyu and me, we had a budget of 1 rupee, given most liberally by my mother. We would plan a lot, go to the market in Gariahat and buy a kali-patka (crackers) for me, a few charki – fireworks that go round and round; and of course a tarabati – sparklers. In other words we had very little fireworks to burn. But, once we had baskets of firecrackers coming to our landlady’s house and she gave us a lot of fireworks – of all kinds. We were very happy and had a lot of fun. Once Prabir brought some ingredients (power) from his friend to make Tubri and chhucho bazi (  ). We helped him make the fireworks following his directions and also had a lot of fun on the occasion.

My mother would put the quilts for the winter on a loft in the dining room. She had a ladder and my jobs was to go up to the loft and help bring the bundles with the quilts down. To me this was a lot of fun.

After lunch, which was after everybody had eaten, my mother would sit on a easy chair by the French window overlooking the main road.  She would put on her glasses very lightly, not totally set in to her ear and read the newspaper. Very soon she would doze off. Towards afternoon my friends would go to Aghor bhavan’s math (field) to play either cricket or soccer. They would call me ‘Bhaiya’. My mother would be very angry and see to it that I do not go out to play before it is time. I am supposed to go to play half an hour later after taking afternoon food – which was usually – chire (pressed rice) and milk.

I was fascinated by the gramophone – I saw the first one in Behala, my maternal aunt’s room. I used to look at the records that Soumitra, my second brother, had in a tin trunk under the bed. I did not know how to play them. Sometimes I would take them to my friend’s house who had a gramophone. My father had once been on a trip overseas and I took the opportunity and told him to get me a record player.  Since had to alter some of his trip plans so that he can get a record player that can work in India. I was very happy when I saw the record player. Tuyu and I went to get our first two records. We never got tired of playing them.

I cannot accept that my mother is not there now. Sometimes I look for my mother reborn as someone in the crowd I see. If we consider our human body to be a carrier of a soul, and a soul that gives particular characteristics to the person with the body, I do see so many people resembling my mother - which is quite possible.

One time in Plymouth, England, I went to a spiritual church where a pastor was claiming that he sees a woman in a white dress with red border standing behind me. That was less than two years after my mother had passed away. Some times I wonder if that was really true – how did he know about my mother’s passing away.

Moving back to Seattle! Spent 4 plus years in Washington DC area; Had a townhome in Germantown, Maryland – feeling a bit empty to leave all this. This was the longest time spent in one place for us. Probably would have liked to continue here. But, something drew me back to Seattle. Hope? “Takdir”? I remember the gentleman in Bombay mail who introduced me the term Takdir. It is like saying “Ke sara, sara – whatever will be will be – the future is not for us to see … he had a impressive slanted forehead – he was very convincing about what he was talking – or maybe I believed things easily in those days – I was not a skeptic.

I am writing this sitting on the plane to Seattle we caught this evening from Washington National Airport in DC. Nina and Boni stayed back – Nina plans to continue living in the Queens, NY and Boni lives in Washington DC and works in Arlington.

Nina wants to be a journalist! Boni is an architect – works at a big architecture firm.  I cannot forget how little they were. We were in Kharagpur in India those days – that was 1984 when we moved back from Kolkata to IIT.

Today as we were going out to board our plane, Sonny, Bulbul and myself, Nina, Boni was there to see us off. As we got through the security I noticed them walking away together, side by side, the same two sisters as they were back in those days in Kharagpur.

Today is Aug 26 2007 – I am 58; back then I was 35, my mother had just passed away. I was totally devastated. We live on with hope; my children are my hope. 

Sankar-da’s house (before he passed away) Padma-Baudi: 8/2/15

Suitcase for US travel, bought a agun-agun sari. Suitcase had some more things – mesomashai brought back – with two suits; baudi said she will repair the broken suitcase and not take the new suitcase that he brought.

Cup  - tea – green cup.

Stolen tank: no body there –Bhaiya or anyone is not there. She said that's well right. Reshmi – chain put in front of her. Ruma and Jhuma were afraid of Reshmi.

Behala house – Taluda – ghee, achar bottle send to Biju. Silk sari – Toluda gave the one Ma wore.

Mashima – No No – I had my son but he is fever. Swallow – public PKS asked her to learn English

Rinadi – Khuku and close 10 month – fed breast milk of Ma

Gopal – only brother , died of pox while studying BA. Senhati house –

Mama and PKS – Toluda arranged the wedding of

ANjuda studyng Medicine – telling stories – Macbeth, Notherndam – ai desheri meye (). Chorda big comedian – team leader.